That is a major problem with us anyway. When we don't know or are afraid of something we question it in so many ways. It makes us look like we know more than the whatever it is. We have solved the riddle. But we don't know. We cannot solve the mystery of God's love. We don't. We can't. But we can be thankful that we are counted as his Beloved.
The crazy part is that it really is easier to follow than we think. It really is safer, more peaceful, more joyful to follow. We don't follow mindlessly, we follow knowingly, watching what God is doing.
Spend time with the question. Write it down and as you hear answers - write them down also. blessings on this endeavor. enough for now.