Sometimes it gets harder before it gets easier. There are places that I walk on the mountain and at those places I have to pause, get my breath and keep on. And then my walk gets a tad easier. My parents used to tell my sister and me, "the darkest hour is just before dawn."
I know that to be true. Benn through some dark places. Gone through some lonely times. Yet, God has kept me in spite of me. Trust me, "the darkest hour is just before dawn." Your dawn is coming. If you can hold on - if you can hold on. The dark will subside. Your change will come. Don't let go. Hold on. You will survive. enough for now.