When those moments happen, give them right then to God through lamenting or grieving. Let it go. It is for your healing. Not for anything else. You can’t control anyone, but you can control your own feelings. It doesn’t matter why it happened, that it happened. It happened, and that’s what the perpetrator has to deal with.
You are growing toward life- the fullness of life. You cannot receive the fullness if you are full of mess of what others have done. Can you see that? I love the song in Frozen, “Let it go.” We need to let stuff go in order to rise to who we are. Tired of being stuck? Then get unstuck. Let’s do this. enough for now.